oh god the rape fog is back!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
