I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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