I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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