I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
