We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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