he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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