there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
