You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
