hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
