bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
