Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
