My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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