Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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