ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
