i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize