im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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