you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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