I skipped work to stalk him.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
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I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
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she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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