Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
