STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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