He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
