she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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