Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
