Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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