I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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