Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
