sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
