so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
