break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
