I wanna bring you to show and tell
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
