I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
