I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just high enough for therapy.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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