Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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