those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
