do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
