I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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