I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
