All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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