I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So much Jack, so little girl.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
