I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize