you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
