so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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