Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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