Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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