so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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