if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
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love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
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Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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