so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
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