I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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