just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
