You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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