you guys were way drunker than both of me
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My pussy is not your playground.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
