Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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