I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
