Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
