girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
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I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
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It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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