If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
